Fsck that Shit  

Posted by Alex Laforest

Sixty bucks downswing ruining my weekend, fsck that fscking cruel mistress... I hate getting so rattled by those... I once thought I was such a cool and cold and aloof bastard in absolute control of his emotions, but that was completely delusional... and way back when... Back when. in the midst of my teens, I hadn't been faced yet with the ugliness of human emotions, mine especially...

Seriously thinking of quitting... For real... Man, I have been trying to beat NL-fscking-10 for a year now, for Christ's sake! Miserably failed 3 times now... And now, the worst downswing of my life (wow, the drama!!!! lol)... I'm getting sick of this; I think I could do much better, happier, more satisfying things with my o so short time here than spew in about a thousand hands the measly profits I make in tens of thousand of hands... Just don't really remember what though :S... Ironically enough, after spending most of my Sunday roaming the city and then my small apartment, I ended spewing and tilting again... I feel like a broken man... Which is pretty ludicrous, to be perfectly honest...

Here's the deal, Poker Gods (whatever): if May 2008 ends up a loosing month, it means I haven't gotten back to playing half-decent poker for sure... And, I quit. How about that?!?!?! This basically means I am finished though: currently down $45+ over a little more than 5k hands in May... Goddamn it!!! That's it, I feel heartbroken, heartsick... End of a love affair, I was the Dreamer, and all that crap... Fsck!

P.S.: By quitting, I don't mean never play ever again. Just mean, from now on, playing for fun, with friends, once in a while... And live.

!@#%

Edit:
This was written yesterday, after a donkey shove-call with KQ soooted against AKo on a rainbow K high flop (AK held by Shorty, who else... anywho, the operative words here are "donkey", and "shove-call"...). I have since then watched 2 flicks, one girly unmentionable one, the other being that Al Gore slideshow... And oddily enough, I awoke with a renewed willpower... Not faith in the future or my abilities or what have you... Not desire or will to win or to overcome obstacles and challenges... But rather, just old, plain and simple willpower... You know that thing defined as the trait of resolutely controlling one's behavior...

Hmmm... Guess I'll let all this decant for a while...

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