Fsck that Shit  

Sixty bucks downswing ruining my weekend, fsck that fscking cruel mistress... I hate getting so rattled by those... I once thought I was such a cool and cold and aloof bastard in absolute control of his emotions, but that was completely delusional... and way back when... Back when. in the midst of my teens, I hadn't been faced yet with the ugliness of human emotions, mine especially...

Seriously thinking of quitting... For real... Man, I have been trying to beat NL-fscking-10 for a year now, for Christ's sake! Miserably failed 3 times now... And now, the worst downswing of my life (wow, the drama!!!! lol)... I'm getting sick of this; I think I could do much better, happier, more satisfying things with my o so short time here than spew in about a thousand hands the measly profits I make in tens of thousand of hands... Just don't really remember what though :S... Ironically enough, after spending most of my Sunday roaming the city and then my small apartment, I ended spewing and tilting again... I feel like a broken man... Which is pretty ludicrous, to be perfectly honest...

Here's the deal, Poker Gods (whatever): if May 2008 ends up a loosing month, it means I haven't gotten back to playing half-decent poker for sure... And, I quit. How about that?!?!?! This basically means I am finished though: currently down $45+ over a little more than 5k hands in May... Goddamn it!!! That's it, I feel heartbroken, heartsick... End of a love affair, I was the Dreamer, and all that crap... Fsck!

P.S.: By quitting, I don't mean never play ever again. Just mean, from now on, playing for fun, with friends, once in a while... And live.